It was a big gong! Kels bought it. The structure on which it would be mounted was a gift to her. I designed that with Buffalo and he fabricated it. I incorporated in the design two things dear to Kelsey. A heart and a hawk. A tribute to love and the son that she loved.
Buffalo fabricated the gong and stand but his artistry is the incorporation of spirit in the process. His, mine and Kelsey's and a tribute to the spirit of her son Chase that had taken on form as Chasehawk.
I learned of Kelsey's transition two days after her passing. I arrived at Chasehawk to find daffodils placed beneath the gong. Time was spent simply slow walking the grounds that I feel she made sacred by her presence. A long thoughtful walk that began and ended at the Peace Gong. A walk that touched the spirit of Kelsey that surrounded me and brought it into my heart. I found that I needed to understand my feelings but mine lead to hers and somehow and hers to mine.
What I believe are my truths. What would Kelsey say about that? I think it would launch a fascinating discussion. On different subjects, at different times and places I am sure we have all had the joy of that discussion with Kelsey. Not the same question or statement, of course, but one that launched an exploration. An exploration with Kelsey as a guide, as an agent to find what path we may choose to follow. How often that has happened is the beauty of her spirit. How often it has elicited the beauty of my own spirit for me to embrace.
How often have I been a guide to Kelsey? A role reversal?
Change belief and truth changes. I thought about that as I walked. My belief that something was a simple tribute may have been a different belief to Kelsey and its constant presence a pointer to a path. The thought troubled me greatly.
We do not know the path she walked, the one she intended, her Exit Strategy and why she chose it. I don't know what role I may or may not have played. I do believe that if I commune with the spirit of Kels in my heart she made a choice that was hers alone. One guided by all the loving things she did and were done out of love for her. Not a path of choice driven by anything else that was not love for her or herself.
A hawk surmounts the Peace Gong. Buffalo made a hawk but then made what he felt was a better one. Kels wanted the first one and we put it up above the garage door. Last week I took it down from above the door and mounted it below Chasehawk. While standing on the ladder doing that a thought pushed itself into my mind. In some way Chasehawk had been a constant call to join in flight together. That struck me very sudden, very hard as a contributing belief of Kelsey's truth. I suddenly wished I never had the thought that produced the Peace Gong.
Kels had surrounded herself with the truths of her beliefs. Pictures, signs, names of Chase and Bruce. All constant presence of their spirit as well as Calypso, Isis, Scooty and others. She had made tributes to them. That reverence and love for their spirits had guided my intent to give a gift that would also be a tribute.
She had made so many of her own path markers pointing the way and guiding to her decision. I feel I contributed only one more. It it played any unintended role in her choice it was a gift that gave her comfort and joy on her Exit Strategy journey.
I rang the gong gently with my hand and listened to my heart.
Kelsey's spirit spoke to me.
The Peace Gong did its job.
To: DSK
From: BFT
I am at peace with your decision. At peace with you and myself. That is my truth.
Love blessings, forever...
BFT
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