Health Care - Obscenely Expensive

I had an MRI yesterday.  A brain scan with dye.  Rally an upper body scan to look at everything from heart to head.  I had it because I had a TIA on the 24th of August but completed a month long trip there.

These charts compare stats on US health care to other countries.

We all know this.

Obama care is just a band aid on the problem.  We all know that.

Somehow we can't even put a band aid on a critical and vital life related problem.

Fear?  We are a nation driven by fear related to the most important things in our society and love of the most trivial things.

Sitting in the doctor's office waiting for her to examine me this is the poster on the wall:

I studied the probabilities after the TIA (and I definitely had one but I am not a doctor so how do I know?)  I made a decision: Continue the trip.  

Spitting in the eye of death gives a great amount of perverse satisfaction.  I was spitting from some safe distance, but who knows.  I will not have my life driven by remote possibilities.  I will not buy an urban tank of a car to improve my chances of surviving over the chances of another with a smaller car in the accident.  I take all precautions using power tools but I still had a kickback on the table saw that would have ruptured a gut.  My left little finger is permanently number due to excessive use of a saws all.  Dumb stuff when the danger was known in one case and unknown in the other.

Fear is  great motivator as well as an excuse.  If there is only 1% probability that Iraq has nuclear weapons then invade.  During the European trip I constantly checked my wallet, my iPhone and passport to make sure I had not lost them.  Once I thought I did when I had put on a different pair of pants!  Fear and shock!

Freedom from fear is a wonderful feeling.  Maybe even flaunting real consequences in order to get the feeling.  Saying and living the freedom from fear is one thing.  Facing it up close and personal in the face reality is another.  

I choose to dominate fear yet I will not go out and sky dive.  The only fear I have is that I will not face it ultimately as bravely as I think I would.  A mini stroke is not really much of a test.  

After the exam I walked across the street to the hospital where a dear friend is in the ICU.  Brain cancer.  I was not on the list of people to see him.  That was ok.  I just wanted to go there.  Thinking about Gary on the way and sitting in the waiting room to think about him some more.  He has had brain cancer for a long time and faced it as bravely as I would ever want to do.  Jeanette faced pancreatic cancer the same way.  Gary was her dear friend too.  

I did not see Gary but like Jeanette I hope that being near as I could would give a heart transfusion.  The most I could give when there is nothing else.  Something to overcome any fear.  After all, RIP is our greatest wish isn't it.  

Live in peace, free of unreasonable fear.  RIP when that is done.  Kick fear in the ass once in awhile along the way just to show who is in charge.  The kicks are symbolic.  Sleep on the ground, do an Ironman, be willing to take the first hit, stand up and speak, whatever it takes to stay in charge of the fears that should not drive us.

My greatest fear?  Not really being who I think I am.

I believe that I know who I am.  

No hypocrisy. 

Fear is Obscenely Expensive.  

Americans pay the most for it.